Our housing authority has banned the only truly effective kind of air conditioning, leaving us with something that will only cool a room two degrees if anything. We are seniors and disabled who are among the most vulnerable to heat injury and death. When a heat wave hit Chicago after they banned air conditioning, mass graves had to be dug for seniors.
tumblr saved my life this spring. I know people can do something about this. If you can, please go to the website linked above, read up on it, follow the instructions — only if you’re capable and have five minutes, of course. And please signal boost.
This matters a lot to a lot of people. We are too poor to get expensive lawyers or even the expensive air conditioners they’re expecting us to use. (I got mine as part of the pilot program.) Many of us would have trouble noticing we are getting overheated, or understanding what to do about it. Any action you take could save our lives.
[TW Sexual Abuse]
Once I had a guy tell me that girls just need to get over molestation since 1/4 women are sexually abused in their lifetimes. He specifically said “girls who complain about being molested can cry me a river”. This guy is becoming a police officer. A POLICE OFFICER!
(submitted by anonymous)
That won’t end well.
Police in general scare the shit out of me. Police and psychiatrists. It’s the power, and the messed up reasons for getting into the job.
I always wonder when I go to see my psychiatrist if he has any clue how terrified I am and just try to hide it.
[Top Text: “I’m tired.” Bottom Text: “WHY?”]
Submitted by shadowsareeverywhere
"You can’t be tired you got [X] amount of sleep last night" [I explained that it wasn’t restful because of the symptoms of my sleep disorder] "That’s not normal" "You should see a doctor about that" "That’s not healthy" etc.
It was actually almost impressive how fast they ran through practically cliched unhelpful responses. I kind of wish I had a bingo card, I might have won just from this interaction alone.
Submitted by spoonstrek
It seems to be commonly believed that the reason why so many autistic girls and women go undiagnosed is because we’re supposed to be good at “masking” our symptoms. And like… I think that’s probably true in many cases, but I don’t think it tells the whole story. See, multiple people have been…
This reminds me of a girl in Kanner’s original paper. She was the sister of an autistic boy. Her development was described in detail. But he didn’t call her autistic, he called her schizophrenic, and entertained no possibility that she was autistic.
My school records that I managed to save from elementary school, and psychologist evaluations, are all full of comments from my teachers going on about how difficult it was to get me to sit still, focus, do my work, not “goof off” in class, etc. Looking back, a lot of the things they mentioned actually came from stuff like not understanding that I wasn’t allowed to do the things they called “goofing off” or “misbehaving” in class. Or they’d talk about how I “didn’t put my full effort into things” and point to work where about half of it was neatly written and the rest of it was a mess. I actually remember why I did that, too, and it wasn’t to spite them or anything like that. It was because it was painful for me to hold my pencil in the position I needed to write “neatly,” and back then, my brain seemed to have an instinctive understanding of when it wasn’t good for me to press on any further. I’ve spent most of my adult life regaining that understanding after school managed to beat it out of me. Anyway, I knew I couldn’t take it any more or I was going to start doing something that was even more “bad” in my teachers’ eyes, like getting up and walking around the room (oh no, the horror) so I would just stop trying to write neatly, at all.
Flash forward a few years… I get diagnosed with depression and OCD, my brother gets diagnosed with ADD and an auditory processing disorder. Everyone around me is hell-bent on taking the view that all my difficulties in school come from something emotional, not something neurological. I get accused of lying and making things up for attention when I say I can’t keep up with what my teachers are saying in class. I’m not saying it would necessarily have been better to spend my childhood being scrutinised for one set of things rather than another set of things, but it was interesting how differently people interpreted the same things in both of us.
"You don't need this junk. You need a cat.": In reply to that thread about how people shouldn't be each other's friends if they hold different political views and... →
My tumblr client won’t let me reply in the thread itself, sorry about that.
I am not a fan of dispassionate debates or even the idea that such things make you objective and wonderful and superior.
OTOH I do think it’s possible to be friends with people who disagree with me on many things, even…
Very very important stuff. I admit I struggle sometimes with knowing where to draw my lines with “this person has some ideology that hates people like me” and “but about this issue, which is really important, we’re on the same side.” Expecting some people to hate me and want to destroy me, and then being surprised when they don’t react that way. It’s part of the stuff about not being able to tell what’s reality and what’s my paranoia sometimes, I think. There are some people I’m just afraid to approach ever, but that has more to do with their specific attitude and how I see them treat other human beings than with the “in theory” views they hold, when I really look at what’s going on there.
I was having a pretty decent day until I thought of something stupid I said when I was 13
I still get this. I wish I knew how to stop it.
Reblog / Like if you’ve ever gotten uneducated, unsolicited advice about your chronic illness.
What made it even worse was that at least in one case it was from a person who also had chronic illness, although a different kind.
My writing about ableism got me thinking about the way most people respond when I tell them what I and others I know have experienced. Even the worst of it. People are always trying to justify what happened to us. They respond to my stories by saying it’s understandable for people to assume I’m…
I know I’ve been writing about this a lot lately. I probably will continue to do so for a while. If just to try to figure out why my brain reacts to certain things the way it does.
Like I mentioned, there’s a thing that some people do where they make a big show of “being aware of their privilege” and self-deprecating, to a point where it becomes almost like a contest, “I can self-deprecate better than you!”, with other people who are doing the same thing. And depending on what kind of person they see you as being, they either try to get you to join in on it, or try to gain your favor by showing off about it.
The one where they try to show off in front of you is the one that catches me off guard and bothers me the most, actually, often.
There’s a type of it where instead of playing “oppresson olympics” (even if they don’t use those actual words), instead of saying with under-words “I win oppression olympics,” they seem to be saying instead “You win oppression olympics,” and think you will see this as a good thing. And say directly or indirectly that they shouldn’t try to compare their oppression to yours because yours is worse. Comparing oppressions, basically.
One of the many problems with “comparing oppressions” is that from what I’ve seen, the more oppressed groups a person overlaps in, the more difficult it becomes to tell where exactly the oppression is coming from. Or if you even CAN pick apart all the different types of oppressions and say which is which. Instead of being able to neatly put everything into separate boxes of ableism, racism, homophobia, fatphobia, misogyny, etc, it can just all blur together into a big nasty ball of hate and unpersoning.
So in a way, not being able to always identify and name the exact type of oppression you’re experiencing, the exact reason people are treating you like shit or everything good you do is invisible to them, actually suggests you’re experiencing more of it, not less.
And when a kind of oppression is built into the society you live in as a routine, systematic thing, it can also get really really good at disguising itself, so that you don’t even know what it is when it’s happening to you. You think it’s a bunch of isolated cases of individual people being assholes to you and doing bad things. Like if you had asked me fifteen years ago if I had any firsthand experience of ableism, I would have said no, because I didn’t even know that I was disabled at the time. When the truth was that I had been experiencing ableism ever since my mother first began to notice that there was something about me that was “not like other children”— so, probably since infancy, then. (There’s a really creepy picture of me as a baby where she’s forcibly grabbing me by the chin and forcing me to look in the direction of the camera. I look really obviously miserable.)
And sometimes oppression can “fossilise” itself in weird patterns I’m having a hard time describing right now. Like there are parts of my family that look down on people for what seem like really weird, random things, and will sometimes outright rage at you for doing them. And it doesn’t make any sense unless you piece together that these were most likely things that they associated with being poor at one point, and “this is what poor people do.” And even when most of them have been middle class for several generations and didn’t have to worry about looking poor any more, these particular things had still been pounded into their heads as Things You Mustn’t Do even when they no longer knew why you weren’t supposed to do them.
So people can end up being indirectly affected by types of oppression they haven’t personally experienced themselves, both being internally oppressed themselves by it and dumping oppression on other people who do “wrong” things. (Also I’ve seen autistic people who claim they taught themselves to pass as non-autistic dumping on other autistic people who can’t or don’t want to do that. Someone was talking about Temple Grandin recently and she definitely does that. And for the record I think a person has every right to not try to pass as normal and not need any reason other than they don’t want to, even if they theoretically could.)
And… generally just all kinds of ways where the world is not as simple as “comparing oppressions,” and how it seems to be like this more often than it isn’t.
What’s interesting is that this is something that’s clear to me most of the time, in the patterns of the reality I perceive around me. About things not being easily simplifable, in many cases, to “I was discriminated against because I was in this one specific group.” And that “I’m always more oppressed than you/you’re always more oppressed than me” doesn’t work for a lot of people because of how the world and how people play with power, are constantly in flux. And I’m the one who usually finds myself forgetting and having to re-learn things constantly. But in this case it seems actually like other people are the ones who forget and re-learn and forget and re-learn that oppression does this, over and over, and as far as I can tell when people talk about “the kyriarchy” they’re often under-words talking about how they forget and have to re-learn this again and again. Even if I never did understand what the word itself means. (And please don’t try to explain it to me, I’ve had people try before and I never got it. But obviously my not being able to understand what it means doesn’t stop me from perceiving stuff.)